"His Ex: When Too Much is Too Much"

So, you've been dating this guy for 4 months. He broke up with his ex about 4 months prior to meeting you. You were already feeling like you might be the rebound chick, until he introduced you to his closest friends, his mom and his Auntie May who makes the greatest peach cobbler you have ever tasted (more juice, less peaches). He told you the long and sad story about how and why him and his ex broke up, and while you feel bad that he had to endure such a woman, you can't help but say a silent prayer thanking the heavens for letting him have the experience so that he can truly 'appreciate' how fabulous you are. You're smooth sailing like the Isley Brothers, and confident that their relationship is over.

Or is it? 

Here's my top 5 signs that your man's ex is still very much in the picture:

1. Her contact number is still in his phone...and her momma's. Even though you're too ashamed and disappointed in yourself to ever admit it, you went thru his phone while he took that much needed shower after a way too intense game of basketball with his friends. His team barely scored and he got man-handled by the guy he constantly tells you is the most arrogant summamabitch he's ever met. You knew he'd be in the shower doing a play by play in his head, so you took it upon yourself to do the quick finger roll on his blackberry. You weren't really looking for it, but it's there. He's got you under "My Lady" but she's still in there as "The One". Before you can even get upset about it, you realize "The One's mom" is the next contact. You know you can't say anything since he'll make a scene about you going thru his phone, so when he comes out the shower and gives you the kiss of life, you play good girlfriend while secretly seething with anger and confusion. 

2. Her stuff is still at his house. While some might say this isn't a good enough reason to be listed, to me it's mandatory. Why? Well, do you leave trash in your house for weeks? months? No. If you wouldn't leave ground beef on your kitchen counter for weeks and weeks to mold and smell, why would a man let an ex's personal items collect dust around his house? Short of living out of state (in which case he needs to hit up the local FedEx counter), she should have come pick up her last few belongings before you and him made it official on facebook. I guarantee that if her stuff is still in his house, she's still everywhere else too (mind, heart, pants...).

3. She keeps showing up. His cousin's birthday party. The comment section of his sister's graduation pictures on facebook. That "guys only" poker night. The fight party for Mosley v. Mayweather. Yeah...every where. Granted, if they were in a long relationship or were childhood friends, there's going to be some overlap for a while...but no self-respecting woman continues to show up at events she knows her ex is going to be at...and possibly with his new chick. Oh, did we mention you weren't invited to any said events? Right....

4. You're Constantly Being Compared to Her. "I know you're lactose intolerant but (insert ex-gf name here) always made my eggs with milk." "(insert ex-gf name here) used to rub my back just like you do." "I thought (insert ex-gf name here) was the worst person to play phase 10 with, but you're even worst!" Ummm, if his only point of reference is the chick he's no longer supposedly having contact with, I would consider that a fire engine red flag. Even if you're doing it BETTER than she did, he shouldn't vocally be comparing every little thing you do to her. While I know it's probably common for people to do this initially, if it's been months since they broke up and you guys got together, he needs to keep his comparisons to himself.

5. Your Intution Says So. If you keep reading this blog, you'll know I rely heavily on my own intuition (better known as you're "inni mini"). We've all got it for a reason, and usually it's right on. Consider it a red flag (or at least a sign this issue is worth investigating further) if your inni mini is telling you something seems a bit shady.

I say if you've got like 3 out of the 5 going on in your life, you might want to have a sit down with your dude and see where his head is at. Just be prepared to walk away if the answer he gives isn't what you were hoping. Hate to say it, but you may end up being the rebound chick after all.

Thoughts?